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Lebron James is not Jesus

So you're a Cleveland Cavaliers fan, weeping and burning jerseys, as you realize you lost yet another chance at a championship (Editor's note: This probably stings more than the franchise givng $70 million to Larry Hughes right? It's a toss up). Meanwhile, Lebron James is in South Beach getting fanned with palm leaves by Cuban-American models.

And you wonder why he left?

Now first things first, let me establish that I will not be a fan of the Miami Heat in this coming season (Editor's note: Be assured Professor J will continue his team-wide man crush).

You may think it's because I have principles and morals. However, I'm afraid it's never that simple, not with me. Yes, I won't support them in part because I wish Lebron James had went to his own team and dominated. It's not really because of that.

The real reason is because I have a thing for "conflicted and brooding" teams. I'm like that girl who always picks the wrong guy, goes for the bad boy type and then ends up getting hurt (Editor's note: God, that is so me).

 Dikembe would never stand for that analogy, not in his house.

Take that girl and make it a sports fan and that's me. I'm a fan of Darko Milicic and the Minnesota Timberwolves. It's pretty obvious I don't go for the right kind of team. (Editor's note: KAHNNNNNNNNNNNN!)