Lebron James surprised reporters with comments during his post championship interview.
"My first ring" James said, sitting down in front of the press, stroking his championship trophy with a wide grin as the room erupted in polite applause and laughter.
"I'm glad to finally have a ring, my first one, the one, the one ring."
"One ring to rule them all, one ring to find them." Lebron said, pretending to read an invisible inscription on the trophy.
"One ring to bring them all and in the darkness-bind them." He continued, pausing for emphasis and delivering the final words in an emphatic whisper.
"we started to wonder where he was going with this." an unnamed reporter said, admitting he didn't realize Lebron was quoting from Tolkeins, Lord of the Rings trilogy.
James proceeded to speak at length about the forging of the "One Ring" by the Dark Lord Sauron in the Second Age, ignoring reporters outstretched hands and their attempts to interrupt him with questions about the game.
"I wanted to ask him how he felt about his legacy, but he just kept droning on and on about how impervious to damage the 'One Ring' was." complained another unnamed reporter.
"He just didn't stop, he eventually pulled out notes, a legalpad, filled with notes."
James went on to discuss the men of Numenor and the war between the Elves and Sauron for roughly three hours, before finally concluding with what many analysts agreed was a synopsis of "The Silmarillion"
(editors note: yeah this is fake, not true, etc)
Sources close to Jordan have revealed that the consensus "greatest player of all time" and current owner of the Charlotte Bobcats is competitively trying to outlive old opponents, such as: Isiah Thomas, Patrick Ewing and even Brian Russell.
"Now that my career is over, it's all about outliving these f***ers" Jordan told reporters, speaking candidly while working up a sweat on a stair master and taking periodic, seemingly timed, sips of unsweetened green tea from an Air Jordan thermos.
"It's not just about championships and individual accolades, it's about having the richest and longest life. Experiencing everything the world has to offer, achieving greater understanding and possibly enlightenment." Jordan continued, popping some Vitamin C tablets and washing them down with more unsweetened tea.
"and I'm going to beat all of them." Jordan added, with a noticeable growl, biting down angrily on a celery stick.
Analysts have predicted Jordan competitive nature could lead to him living well into his hundreds if necessary.
(Editors note: of course this is all FAKE, NOT TRUE and a JOKE)
This off-season Steve Nash will be placing a premium on signing with a team which fields a "bad ass " logo .
"I'm getting on in years, this will probably be my last contract" Said the 38, but still spry point guard during a press conference.
"This is my last chance to be a member of a really amazing color scheme and design"
Sources reveal Nash is very interested in teams with carnivorous animals as mascots, like the Grizzlies, Raptors and Hawks.
"I had some great success with the Suns" Nash said, speaking warmly of his last 8 years.
"A lot of success, both with the team and individually"
"but the Suns? I mean what does that name even mean? That we're a bunch of hot plasma?"
Nash is planning on using his sway with teams to suggest new logos and design schemes during contract negotiations. He offered reporters a quick glimpse of his sketch pad and many of the new logo ideas featured: Minotaur's, flaming skulls and dragons riding Harley's.
After Nash's press conference the Suns announced they would be putting together a small presentation for Nash about the sun and it's appeal as a logo.
"There's a lot of cool things about the Sun" said majority owner Robert Sarver to reporters.
"For example, scientists think the Sun will blow up one day, that's pretty bad ass."
(editors note: this is of course, completely made up, fiction, a joke, NOT REAL, etc)
"There's probably some serious 'mulling' going on at the moment" said one anonymous source from a New Jersey payphone.
"but don't quote me on that" he said before quickly hanging up.
Sources from Larry Birds "camp" reported:
"At this point, the smart money is on him most likely, thinking about staying" said one member of Birds "camp" before going on to say:
"but also going, he's thinking a lot about that as well."
When asked for further details, Larrys "camp" also stated: "There's been an increase in the amount of bear sightings in Yellowstone this year, at least where we are"
(editors note: this is of course, a joke, made up, fiction, NOT REAL, etc)