Total Pageviews

Wait......the season started?

Hello faithful reader(s)!

Now I know we haven't posted anything in a while and we sincerely apologize. (Editor's note: A while? A WHILE?!?! I haven't had a job for 2 months! I had to wait tables and mop floors 16 hours a day just to sustain the extravagant lifestyle of a "blog editor" my family had grown used to)
Baby Hornacek and myself have been too busy with curing cancer and saving kittens that we neglected our great blog. We will absolutely remedy that in the only way we know how: personalized gift baskets! (Actually we're just planning on writing more so... y'know... enjoy).

Like Antoine Walker, we're coming back baby!!

(editors note: How did we ever leave?)

 Let's start with some of Professor J's random, scattered thoughts about the still-somewhat-young NBA season! (editors note: while I try to convince the banks to not reposes my 16 story mansion in Connecticut)

- The real contenders for a championship: Los Angeles Lakers, Boston Celtics, Miami Heat. (editors note: it's a long shot but you can't leave out the "Anchorage Dark Horses")
Kobe: keep smiling for the camera, that's right, now listen to me. I'm going to rip your head off come April, got it? Now nod and smile.

- Teams I would consider contenders but just don't trust (and reasons for not trusting):
San Antonio Spurs: really hard not to put them in the contender area but I just see age, guard-heavy play, and reliance on young unproven players giving them trouble as the season moves on.

Chicago Bulls: No matter how many Chicago fans try to convince me otherwise, Derrick Rose is not the best young point guard in the league. Too few assists. Plus we have yet to see how all their moving parts will come together, although Boozer has been outstanding. (editors note: this just in! Boozer breaks his own face!)

Orlando Magic: The major trade shakeup just makes this team the incredible unknown. Plus I want to see Dwight keep up his serious attitude and offensive production for a little more of the season. (editors note, the Magic have reached a "we need a bigger boat" level of above average wing players)

Dallas Mavericks: Amazing thus far but a history of failing in the playoffs and choking at the worst times. Plus they are silently one of the oldest rosters in the league.

- And then there are the pretenders:

New York Knicks:
1. Can everyone please calm down about the Knicks? So they put a few games together and Amare had a great hot streak. They are not taking the championship this year. The media (aka ESPN) was showing its INCREDIBLE New York bias these last couple weeks and it has exploded in their face with the Knicks currently on a three game skid, including a loss to the lowly Cavaliers.

2. You cannot create a rivalry by just talking about it. That's not how it works. Let the Knicks and the Celtics actually PLAY some games first before you start hyping any matchup. Sure it was a great game but there's no real bad blood between these two teams (or between the franchises for that matter). You need bad blood for a rivalry. (editors note: just blood in general, everywhere.)

3. For any New York fan, stop trying to pretend that getting Amar'e was your "real" goal and that it turned out better for you than if you got Lebron. Please. No one believes you and you just sound like a jilted lover and no one likes a jilted lover. When a jilted lover makes out with the next person they see and professes everlasting love for that person, it just comes off as sad.
Also, I make it a rule not to listen or take seriously anyone who turns someones name into a psuedo-insult. Those "LeChicken" and "LeBum" headlines were immature and, honestly, just dumb.
"Jilted lover distraught hate poetry"

4. Lastly, why isn't Carmelo Anthony in New York already? (editors note: jilted lover orgy?) Does he have some last minute errands to do in Denver? Is his dry cleaning not ready until next Wednesday? Get the deal done! Sneaky underplot: I don't think Carmelo and Amar'e in NY wins a championship. Too little defense.

Let's give the Knicks some time because they definitely have some great pieces on there roster (including an emerging Raymond Felton, General Danilo Gallanari, and Landry Fields). Stop crowning them contenders.

Atlanta Hawks: A good playoff team but no where close to contender status. To me, there is just a funk that has settled over this team. A funk created by Josh Smith's immaturity, Joe Johnson's contract and just team-wide apathy. Can someone please save Al Horford?

Oklahoma City Thunder: That bandwagon sure cleared out fast. The only wagon I've ever seen more empty was during my last game of Oregon Trail (I don't stop for wussy diseases like cholera and diphteria). Kevin Durant is still scoring but takes a lot of shots to do so. However, James "Metapod" Harden has hardened, their bench is not performing and they are not meeting expectations. Is Jeff Green still alive?
 James "metapod" Harden is evolving into a dependable role player!

New Orleans Hornets: Have come back to Earth after a scorching start. Trevor Ariza has disappeared (making it clear that he's not really a star but more of a championship glue guy) Emeka Okafor still can't put it all together and Chris Paul is still the best point guard in the Association.
Overall, another one of those good-not-great teams. (Editors note: unconfirmed rumors the Ankorage "Dark Horses" will make a trade deadline move for CP3)

- Surprises of the season:

Kevin Love, Michael Beasley and their traveling band of Minnesota misfits (Crazy stat lines but not many wins. Still fun to watch. Fantasy basketball gold!)

League-wide scoring bursts: 43 for Russell Westbrook! 44 for Michael Beasley! 52 for Juan Howard! 39 for Amar'e! (Only one of those isn't real)

Miami Heat: A surprise because of their resilience, swagger and the weird season so far: All the boasting, then a couple of losses, beat down any talk of mutiny and came back strong. Now they look like world beaters. Let's see if they can keep it up.

Reggie Evans: Please come back Reggie Evans! I love your ridiculous rebounding numbers and inappropriate butt slaps. (editors note: Reggie Evans knows how to slap a butt)

San Antonio Spurs: nice transition between relying on Tim Duncan to putting the ball in Ginobili's and Parker's hands. Can they keep it up? I say no. (editors note: if Rick Barry could play with a hair piece so can Manu)

- Interesting reason to keep somewhat interested in college basketball: there is no clear-cut best player in the country right now. For my money, the Cavs will be selecting Jared Sullinger first in the 2011 draft

-Speaking of the Cavaliers, they have no heart and are playing like a team without an identity. In essence, the team is a weird mash-up of "guys hired to play with Lebron", "guys that Byron Scott wanted", and "filler starring Joey Graham". (editors note: The Broadway musical opened to mixed reviews, crowds felt Graham didn't have the footwork for the dance numbers)

- Joe Smith will not help the Lakers as much as Laker fans like to think. Neither will Theo Ratliff. Lakers have a serious problem with lack of, surprise surprise, BIG MEN! Sure, Pau Gasol and Lamar Odom are standing tall and talented (although Pau is showing some signs of wear and Lamar will not keep up his great start). But after them? Andrew Bynum is still trying to work himself into shape and is an injury waiting to happen. Theo Ratliff is freaking old. Joe Smith is also really old. Please recognize this. (editors note: the answer is clear, Penny Hardaway)

- The Orlando Magic are now the great unknown. I do believe Gilbert Arenas will be rejuvenated and really become the professional scorer and playmaker he used to be. But who is their defensive stopper now? Jason Richardson? I see Jameer Nelson as the next to be traded (for a defensive-minded forward or a serviceable big guy). I will be attending a Magic game on December 23rd, when they play the Spurs, so look out for a live blog then!

- I think Drake has become the official hip-hop artist of the NBA. At least for the moment. Still won't replace Jock Jams for me.

- I think every NBA player has a twitter account now. Even Cole Aldrich has one. Cole "Corn" Aldrich.

Keep coming back for more! Also, look out for the live blog!

No comments:

Post a Comment